If you have an unethical level of cash, there are many reasons to buy a Ferrari, most of which are good. They are fun to drive. They are very fashionable. Incredibly soft leather wraps your hips, just like your mother when you were born. But this is not the reason why people actually buy Ferrari.

You buy it for the badge. Ferrari knows this, and to some extent, a sign is its new key.

I don’t know why I always insist that Ferrari will actually become an elegant brand, but the 2020 Ferrari Roma is actually very stylish and low-key, because "I have a lot of money, but I won’t rub my one hundred dollar bill on your face. On until all you see is green" way.

But its keys are vulgar and dumb. It looks like a three-dollar keychain from the Maranello gift shop, because that's the only thing you can afford as a bitch. I refuse to believe that this will open up a super sports car. I reject.

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These photos are from Jack Rix, Deputy Editor-in-Chief of Top Gear, on Twitter and, buddy. What a stupid, cheesy-looking device.

It's like the dumb low-quality Vineyard Vines ad that is currently playing. The badge you took off your child's miniature fake electric Ferrari Berlinetta can't really open a luxury car. It seems that it should provide power for remote control cars. At best, it is a fancy remote control specially designed for Ferrari Scalextric slot machines.

I can't imagine taking this thing out of your pocket and it feels like a huge, huge tool. Oh, this? Why, yes, this is actually my sheriff’s badge. You see, the ghost of Enzo came to me and told me that I needed to show this sign in front of all of you nerds to remind all of you that I was actually driving a Ferrari. Because, you know, the real fucking Ferrari I want to climb is not enough, I need this cheesy looking backpack pin to prove it.

To quote one of the cultural touchstones of the early 2000s: "You are tacky and I hate you."